Idont know if im ready for change
by mslostnotfound
Summary: Sams date with a cute guy begins a change that affects the icarly trio. Can their friendship survive the changes that are to come?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I don't own icarly **

"Why did I agree to this" Sam says as she pouts in Carlys room.

"Because you think he's hot?" Carly says as she looks for the perfect shoes to go with Sams black skirt that falls slightly above her knees.

"No not why I'm going out with Jake, why I let you convince me to dress up for him."

"Why wouldn't you wanna look nice for the first date with a new guy"

"Remember Pete. Sam + dress up for one syllable named guy = disaster". Sam says with a huff as she adjusts the royal blue halter top she swore she'd never wear. Damn Carly and her powers of persuasion.

Carly sighed before responding. "Come on Sam. Pete was an A-hole. And plus Jake is short for Jacob so that's two syllables."

"Pete is short for Peter so I guess we are back to square one Shay."Sam deadpanned.

"Sam sometimes you need to just take a risk or you'll never know what might happen. What might be waiting for you out there." Sam remained unconvinced "Just look at yourself in the mirror. Carly says as she drags Sam to the other side of the room.

"I don't wanna loo-" she stops as she takes a good look at herself. Even though she's wearing a dreaded skirt she doesn't feel uncomfortable. The gold heels Carly finally chose for her made her petite legs look like they went on for days. Her makeup wasn't too dramatic, just enough lip gloss to make her lips stick out and just enough mascara to make her blue eyes pop. She had to admit that she did look pretty good.

"See" Carly said, taking her silence as a sign of acceptance. "You look great Sam, Jake won't know what hit him"

All she could do was smile. She looked at the clock on the wall and saw that he was coming to pick her up in 30 minutes she began to get nervous and started chewing her lip. "Wheres my bag?"

"Its downstairs but you can't have any of your emergency meat you might dirty you-"but she was already running downstairs.

"Sam at least put on something to cover up your outfit" Carly yelled as she went to quickly follow her.

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><p>"Hola Chicas" Fredward Benson said as he entered the Shay residence without knocking as per usual.<p>

"Hey Freddie" Carly said as she looked up at him and smiled before she went back to watching the television.

He received only a grunt from Sam as she was gnawing on the bones of what he guessed used to be ribs.

"What up with the poncho?" He asked quizzically while taking in Sams attire.

"Sams got a date but needed ribs."

"Oh right with whats his name."

"Jakes' his name nub" Sam said as she finally put down the remains of the animal she fully appreciated the slaying of.

"Yea Jake sorry. Arent we touchie" Freddie says with a sly grin. Already preparing himself for what is about to ensue.

"The only thing that's going to be touchie is when my fist comes in direct contact with your jaw."Sam says angrily but with the hint of a smile playing on her face. The two finding comfort in their banter.

"No Sam don't punch Freddie no blood on your outfit either" Carly said slightly detached from the convo but wanting to squash anything before it turned into World War 234554664

"What if I keep the poncho on until after I knock him out?"

"Look Sam he's going to be here soon you might wanna go touch up your makeup." Carly says ignoring her last statement completely.

Freddie looks as Sam agrees and without hesitation makes her way back upstairs to Carlys room.

Once she leaves the room Carly directs her attention to Freddie "So what brings you by tonight?"

"I really need a reason to come over here now?" Freddie says

"No" she replies with a slightly shy glance at Freddie. She had to admit that through their years of friendship he had developed into quite the handsome young man. Freaked out by her sounding like an old grandma in her thoughts she quickly mentally shook her head.

"So you wanna stay a while, watch a movie or something" Carly says with a small flutter of her eyes.

"Sureeee" Freddie says a little uncertainty wondering what got into Carly.

Just then the doorbell rang.

"OOoooh that must be him ill get it. You go call Sam to come downstairs. And don't just yell out Sam. I want her to make a grand entrance" Carly says giddily as she hops off the couch and makes her way to the door.

Freddie rolls his eyes but obliges like Carly knew he would.

As he makes it to Carlys door he knocks (holding the need to knock before entering someones bedroom in higher regard than a front door)

"What?" is the reply

He takes that as a go ahead to enter

"Hey blonde headed demo-" The rest of his sentence is quickly forgotten as he takes a good look at the girl, no practically a woman in front of him. This obviously wasn't the first time he saw her all dressed up but the smile she seemed to have had caught him off guard. He could tell that she felt as amazing as she looked.

Once she saw that it was Freddie and not Carly her smile faded and an eyebrow raise replaced it.

"You ok dork?" She said as her normal look of indifference returned.

It seemed to take Freddie out of his dream world.

"Wow Sam you look….. Wow" His ability to speak coherently had yet to fully return however.

For a brief moment that genuine smile returned but she just as quickly masked it.

"Thanks Freddinator now what do you want?"

"Oh Johns-"

"You mean Jake"

"Yea whatever. Hes downstairs"

Sam took one last look in the mirror and pushed him out the way. That slight touch sent a charge through him and he couldn't believe that she somehow had just shook his entire thought system in a matter of minutes. If he were to be completely honest with himself he would admit that he had this underlying amount of slight affection (feelings felt like too strong of a word really) for her. But it wasn't something he expected to think about outside the comforts of his room before he fully let sleep take hold of him. Those final moments where his thought could run free with no inhibition and no sense of the ramifications that would occur if anyone were to find out.

As he finally made his way back downstairs he saw Carly acting out her role as a mom seeing her daughter go out on her first date. It would've been slightly amusing to Freddie how she tried to get them to stand close and take pictures together if it wasn't for the fact that she was trying to make them stand CLOSE and take pictures TOGETHER.

His slight pang of jealously quickly was swept to the side as he saw the nervous look on Sams face. For all the confidence she had when it came to intimidating people, it left almost none for her when it came to the boy department. As her friend he sent her a reassuring smile and mouthed 'good luck' to her as she turned around to leave. She smiled that smile he had grown to crave in a short amount of time and walked out the door.

**Authors note: Yay to me for finally getting the urge to write again. I feel like this is subconsciously inspired by iomg that's coming out this weekend. I didn't realize it till I finished. I'm pretty sure I will continue this and I'm hoping I can beat my record for length and make this longer then my last story (It was only like 6 chapters so I feel pretty pathetic ) Anywayz I hope whoever reads this enjoys and feels the urge to review. Ill be honest and say I have only a slight idea of where this could be heading. Seems like a sad way to end this note so... (insert your name here) is the coolest person on this site. Yeah thats a more postive note :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own ICarly

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><p>Freddie subtly check his watch and sees that it's now 9:00<p>

He had been watching movies with Carly for about 3 hours now and realized it was the first time just the two of them hung out together in a while. Lately if it wasn't the three of them together he was usually with Sam while Carly went out with her latest boyfriend. It seemed that since she broke up with Brock a couple of weeks ago she had been trying to spend more time with Freddie alone. He figured she was trying to make up for lost time and liked that they were becoming as close friends as they were before they entered their junior year at Ridgeway.

A poke at his side shook him out of his deep thoughts. He looked to his right to see the aforementioned Brunette staring at him.

"What's got you so distracted while Galaxy Wars is on" Carly had surprised him by picking it, but he wasn't about to waste the opportunity to see one of his favorite films for the thirty third time.

"Oh nothing I was just thinking about how this is the first time in a while we've hung out, just the two of us."

"Yea I was thinking that too. It's nice" she said dreamily.

Still a little confused about Carlys behavior he turned his head back to the film. It was at a good time too because right then the Red Skynauts had Nug Nug completely surrounded. Because of his small stature they underestimated how powerful he could really be. A minute later there was a small green headed man surrounded by fallen soldiers speaking backwards words of wisdom. (**A/N Yea I have limited knowledge on Star wars let alone a parody of it**).

He started getting really into the film when he felt someone's eyes on him. He took a sideways look and again saw that Carly was staring intently at him.

"Umm yea Carly" He said nervously for reasons he wasn't quite sure of.

"Well I was just thinking how things can change."

"Change?"

"Yea or maybe how they might not change, but rather you open your eyes and see things differently then you thought you did before. Where you start giving a chance to things you didn't let yourself think about before you know?"

"Oh well yea I guess I know what you mean" And he did. He REALLY did. Thoughts he never in his life he would have had started to become more permanent fixture in his life. He tried to battle them because they were too foreign and terrifying to really let himself relax around. He was winning for now but he honestly didn't know how long that would last.

She smiled taking his statement to mean he understood what she was saying. Not being able to see his internal wires overlapping and criss crossing and frying and going into a meltdown.

As she closed her eyes and began to lean forward Freddie knew part of him wanted this and began to match her movements. Yea part of him definitely wanted this. But another part…..

Before their lips met the door opened and Freddie quickly moved away and looked to see who it was but already having a good feeling of who it could be.

Sam seemingly not noticing the mood just walked in the door while muttering obscenities.

Carly was the first to speak.

"Sam are you ok"

"Ehhhhhhhh" was all she said as she made her way to the fridge.

Upon finding the kind of meat she wanted she started ascending the stairs. "I'll be in your room taking off this stupid outfit. Stupid two syllable boys" she said as an afterthought.

Well I guess HER date didn't go well. I should go up and check on her"

Freddie couldn't help but be confused about the emphasis on 'her' but dismissed it.

"Yea well I guess ill head home now. See ya Carly" Before he got out the door Carly quickly placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Yea see ya"

* * *

><p>As he made the quick trip from the Shays to his home he was even more baffled. Things had went too fast and what he was sure about for so many years of his adolescence and teenage years that followed didn't give him the same feelings they used to.<p>

He decided to try and forget the incident and go to bed because his brain was not in the mood for anymore contemplating for the day.

* * *

><p>As Carly made her way into her room she sees the outfit that had made her blonde friend gorgeous a few hours ago crumpled on the floor.<p>

"So I'm guessing it didn't go well" she says as more of a statement than a question

"No chiz Carlotta" Sam says dryly as she yanks on a pajama top.

"Well what happened?" She says as she makes her way to her closet to put on her pjs figuring this would probably end up being a stay up and talk about boys night. Sam usually didn't want to participate in those but it seemed like she really need it now.

"Well first of all jerk-"

"You mean Jake"

"No I mean JERK. First of all jerk takes me to B.F. Wangs"

"Don't you love B.F. Wangs?"

"Carly….." Sam warns "Do you want me to tell the story or not"

"Sorry. Continue"

"So he takes me to B.F Wangs and at first everything is fine. Actually more than fine. It's going pretty great"

"Then what happen-" She stops as she sees the blonde almost ready to pounce on her.

"So it's going great were joking around and talking about our favorite baseball players. We got into an argument about who was more important the batter or the pitcher. I obviously said batter since not only do they play offense and defense but they get to hold a bat" Sam slightly flashbacked to a simpler time when she was legally allowed to hold a bat.

"So anyway" snapping herself out of her thoughts before Carly could cut her off again. "We were having a great time until these bimbo barbies come walking in. it's like he forgets I'm sitting right there and starts ogling them right in front of me. I eventually slap him in the back of the head and ask to leave."

"You just ended the date right then? Then why did it take you so long to get back"

"No that wasn't the end of this stupid night. Next he takes me to the movies. I was still upset but I really wanted to see that new horror movie"

"Raining Blood on a virgin town?"

"Yea and since you were too scared to see it and going with the nub is on the bottom of my to-do list I decided he could pay for me and buy me a boat load of snacks to make it up to me. We get our seats first and I hold them while he gets the stuff. At first I didn't notice he wasn't back yet because the movie was really good. Then when I go to grab for popcorn I realize he still hasn't brought me any. I go outside- and it was a good part too this cop just got his brain splat-"

"Sam please don't finish that sentence and get back to what happened" Carly says while visibly shivering. She really isn't a horror lover.

"Well I go outside and he's making out with this gank"

"So what'd you do" Carlys says finally seeing why she was so upset

"I bought a large Fat shake, they sell them everywhere now, and poured it over both of them. She seemed pretty upset because that shirt looked like it was silk. Then I just walked away. I was mad I spent the last of my money on that stupid Fat shake so I had to walk all the way back here in those evil things" The blonde says while pointing and accusing finger at the heels.

"Why didn't you call me? I would've got Freddie or Spencer to pick you up"

She shrugs her head and starts chewing on her fried chicken she forgot about while telling her story. "Guess I just wanted time to think"

"About why boys are stupid?"The brunette says while trying to make her friend feel better "remember just throw rocks at them" She finishes while giving her a playful nudge.

"No why boys seem to-" she stops herself and puts the plate full of bones on the floor and pulls the covers over her. "I'm going to bed"

"Sam you're supposed to share the covers" all Carly hears is silence and accepting defeat gets into the fetal position trying to keep some warmth around her. Cursing herself for taking off her socks. Before succumbing to sleep she swears she hears Sam say something.

"Why boys seem not to notice me"

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Sorry this took so long for me to update. I wasn't feeling very inspired and only had about 200 words written before today. Not sure what motivated me but I'm guessing it's because my internet wasn't working for most of the day so I couldn't surf the web or update my facebook 30 times a day. Hope you liked it and will want to review telling me what you like or if you have any constructive criticism besides my need to work on my editing skills. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't even own anything that rhymes with ICarly

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><p>Carly sat at her vanity brushing her hair while in deep thought. The events of last night floating around in her head. Sam had left before she woke up so she hadn't had a chance to ask her about what she swears she overheard last night.<p>

Did Sam really feel that way about herself? She knew that she had trouble with guys sometimes but she sounded so defeated, so not like the usually over confident girl she had the pleasure of calling her best friend. The brunette knew it wasn't a topic she could discuss over the phone so decided to wait until a later time to approach her. It was her job as a best friend to help Sam when she wasn't feeling alright, even though she knew there was a certain way to get her to open up. She had to wait until Sam was ready to tell her.

She sighed and began applying her lip gloss as she thought of what else happened last night. She and Freddie had almost kissed. She knows that she really wanted it and at first thought Freddie also wanted it, but now was not as confident. If truth be told, she had leaned a great deal more than him and noticed the slight hesitation and look of confusion on his face when she peeked her eye open. Not to mention the fact that he nearly leaped off the couch when the door opened. Carly swore she saw a brief flash of relief and something she couldn't identify pass over his facial features when Sam trudged in the door.

Maybe she should take a step back for a little while to make sure it's what they both really wanted. Freddie didn't fawn over her the way he did when they were younger. Before she had chalked it up to his feelings for her maturing, but it could also be that his feelings were dissipating. She hoped it wasn't the second one. She hadn't ever been on the receiving end of rejection and didn't think she would be able to handle it.

On the bright side, even if he did hesitate, he eventually did lean, meaning that there was still a glimpse of hope and let that feeling soothe her as she got ready to help Spencer find new sculpture supplies at the junkyard. The work of being the sibling of a manchild on a permanent sugar rush was never done.

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><p>Freddie smiles to himself at his slight act of defiance. After being told by his mom that she was making tofu casserole he quickly made up a story about having to meet up with some kids from the A.V. club. He then got into his prius, seriously not his ideal car but the only one Mrs. Benson would allow him to have.<p>

'A car run strictly on gas will leave you dead in the grass' she would constantly remind him. He felt the urge to reply with 'A car this stupidly made won't ever help me get laid' but really wasn't in the mood to start either a)an argument with his mom or b) his rap career as grandmaster freddienstein.

He made his way in his car to inside out burger and got his favorite combo meal and was now in the process of going to his somewhat secret place to eat his contraband in peace. As he got closer he heard the soft tones of music from what he thought was 'I shot my lover in the head' and through a quick process of elimination realized his meal would include a blonde headed visitor.

"Well this seems like Déjà vu" Freddie says as he makes his way onto the fire escape.

"I was told this was a great place to come outside and think" The blonde responds with a slight shrug. Her hair flying loosely in the wind.

"is that my laptop AND pear pod?"

"yea" she replies bluntly

"How did you- "

She raises her hand to show her very bent hair pin

"I gotta hand it to ya that new lock was pretty good. Mama has to buy herself, with the money I found on your dresser of course, some new hair pins now. They both chuckle at that.

"You ok?" Freddie asks when they sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Well apparently my date had a.d.d because he seemed to forget about me while sucking face with some skutter. Whatevs" she says while trying to maintain a nonchalant attitude.

Freddie is not sure what to say. He knows that while not exactly letting her guard down, she was letting him see a side not many get the chance to see. How he handled it from here would be super important. For now he would tread lightly.

"I would offer you some of my food but then we would be strolling too far down memory lane".

"Well try not to suddenly kiss me this time ok" Sam deadpanned without looking at him. Simply lounging in the chair he keeps out there on nights he wants to think.

"I don't remember it being quite like that"

"You leaned first"

"Only because you told me to" He says as he settles himself on the window ledge.

"Nyeeeeee"

"Nyeeeee"

"Sam all joking aside you're insanely beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you and as cliché as it sounds if he couldn't see that he's an idiot" surprised at himself for taking it that far he tentatively looks up at Sam and sees her looking at him. Both unsure of what to say next.

They continue to stare until finally Sam looks away. Well nub now tell me how you REALLY feel. Sam says in an attempt to return to their previous scheduled program. Freddie is silent for a few more seconds before he understands what she's trying to do.

"Whatever Sam." Unable switch off his emotions as fast as her. "I guess I'll see you later" His appetite officially gone.

"So I guess this is one of those private moments?" she says softly as he turns to leave.

"Yea try not to get high on loopy gas and tell Carly anything this time please." He says with a smirk as he's finally able to emerge himself in familiar territory.

She turns before he can see the smile on her face.

"Yea it would probably take more than a couple of escaping prisoners to stop the ever flowing questions she would have." She agrees

"There's a bacon burger with cheese and medium fries in here if you want." He says as he puts his bag on the small ladder by the music.

She's already unwrapped it and taken a big bite before he's fully out the window.

"Hey" he stops and turns to face her again. "Thanks…for the burger" she quickly adds with a full mouth.

"You're welcome" he says while giving her a smile knowing it was more than the burger. His stomach might still be empty, but that spot on the left side of his chest seemed full of something. And that was enough for him for now.

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><p><strong>Authors note: Well I hoped you liked this chapter. I have a slight idea of where I want to go next but if anyone has any suggestions comment and let me know. And sorry for any grammatical mistakes I try to catch most of them but some slip through. <strong>

**p.s. The song she was listening to was I shot my lover in the head by the pierces. I only recently discovered them but they make really cool songs (well to me). I think that song would totally be up Sams alley when thinking about her date with Jake. You can listen to it on youtube and see if you agree **

**Random p.s if anyone has any other suggestions for what Freddies rapper name would be let me know. I doubt I'll make him rhyme anymore but I feel the name I choose is kind of lame.**


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